Flown The Nest

02/03/09 Welcome to Flown the Nest

I am not a doctor, counsellor or psychiatrist. I am a mother who has spent over half of my life bringing up my children, during which time, they were my whole world. I realise now, that when children leave home, especially the last child or the only child, there are two thoughts that immediately come to mind, "how am I going to survive them leaving home and what am I going to do with all the extra time I shall have?"

This, therefore, is why I started this website, because I feel apart from keeping busy, the next best thing is to talk to other parents who are also going through the 'empty nest syndrome'. There is no point in talking to someone about this who does not feel the same way as you, because they will neither understand nor be sympathetic.

I hope mothers and fathers will use this website to offer and receive advice and support on coping with this transition in their lives and at the same time, make new friends and eventually start to enjoy this time in their lives.

Comments

Caroline wrote:

I am really caught off guard with how sad I am feeling for my son, who just left to go to University. I am so proud of him, and this summer I hadn't seen to much of him as he was working 50 hours a week to make money to go to University. I thought I would be relieved more than sad, as his sense of entitlement has been difficult to handle at times.

He started University 2 weeks earlier than most as he is playing varsity football and went to training camp. I am still involved in his plans as there is much to do to help him get ready for moving into his dorm and because he is busy with the team he has asked me to do alot. I am happy to be in contact with him on a daily basis, and happy to support him to get settled at his dorm. And I have been surprised really that he calls me at the end of the training day to share how he is doing. I actually have had to encourage him and build him up when he has called with doubts and fears related to how he performed in camp...
I have welcomed the opportunity for him to go as a means to help him become more independant, which is why I have been caught off guard, with these feelings.

I am a person who works full time in a fulfilling career, and I have many leisure interests as well. My husband whom I love dearly and have a very good relationship, just isn't sharing any of these feelings with me at all. He is grateful for the break.
I just chalk that up to the alfa male syndrome...
So as I said before I am finding myself missing him, crying, and really morning his loss. He is such a great guy, and I really love him. I know I am not depressed, which I believe is very real for some people. I appreciate this site and the opportunity to feel "normal".

29/08/09 17:01:41

Flown The Nest wrote:

Hi Caroline,

Thank you for sharing your feelings with us. You have reinforced what we always believed, that this change in ones life can produce a real sense of loss and that there is nothing abnormal about this.

Your comments are very much appreciated. If you do become a member, we are sure that you will be able to help other parents by communicating with them individually.

30/08/09 22:40:37

Carol wrote:

I left my son at the halls of residence and as I walked away I felt as though I had been hit by a bus.
intellectually I was looking forward to his independence, I was not prepared for the grief I felt when the time came.
I have been a single mum for three years and my son who has been a great friend and helped cheer me up during that time. I also lost my mother and father during that period and have not really had time to grieve as keeping a roof over our heads and supporting both my kids through the trauma's has taken up most of my time.
I have during that period met and now share a home with a new man, who's own kids have now completed the transit through university and on into their adult lives successfully, but that prospect is even more daunting than the one I now face.
Whilst he is being very supportive, and my demanding job is a worthy distraction, I am left wondering when this pain will end?

06/10/09 08:28:42

Flown The Nest wrote:

Hi Carol,

We were very sorry to hear this.

Now that you have joined, we hope that you will find some comfort from sharing experiences with the person with whom we have put you in contact.

06/10/09 20:49:33